These days, it's hard to really shield kids from the frightening events happening inthe world.
Having helpful statements that remind them of truths they can count on, can really be helpful. Here are some go-to phrases to help kids navigate scary times.
1. You Can Always Ask For Help
Reminding a child that they can speak up and ask for what they need can be important, especially with little personalities that may not think their needs are important when big scary things have happened.
Their needs are important too, and you're there for them.
2. You're Not Alone.
There's nothing like being reminded that we're not going through something alone. Doing hard things together makes it easier.
3. What Happened Isn't Your Fault
Sometimes kids can tend to internalize the hard things that happen around them, wondering if some how their actions set unfortunate events into action. Being reminded that it's not their fault can be important.
4. You Are Safe
When everything was happening last week, my kids found comfort in hearing me recite a list of ways the grownups around them were keeping them safe. Just knowing that there's a safety plan can help alleviate the heaviness for worried hearts.
5. You Can Help Yourself to be Calm
Our bodies go through so much when we're in "fight or flight mode". Reminding a child that they can always take a moment to still their body, and use strategies to find a feeling of calm, is a valuable life skill. Even just taking some deep breaths, doing a few stretches, or taking a moment for box breathing, can help our bodies (and stress response) to reset a bit.
6. We Can Get Through This Part
Sometimes kids tend to think about the big picture, and worry about a whole chain of events that hasn't even happened. Bringing it back to getting through this one next step, together, can help make the future feel more do-able.
Anna's song, The Next Right Thing, from Frozen 2, is a great one to play as a reinforcement to this helpful reminder.
7. Asking Questions Is OK
Being allowed to ask as many questions as they need, always helps. Sometimes in the process of answering questions, we realize that little ones have made assumptions that are worse than the situation really is, and this can be a great way to help dispel those.
8. I'm Glad To Hear About How You Feel
Their feelings are never a burden to the people who love them. Knowing that they have a grownup who cherished them and values their feelings is so important.
9. It's OK To Be Sad
There's no pressure to feel anything but our honest feelings. That's the best way to get through. Being sad is ok, and it's ok to find ways to help ourselves not stay sad.
10. You Are Smart
This might seem unrelated, but children find it comforting to know that they're smart. They are a great person, and they have a good mind to help them get through.
11. We Can Make a Good Plan
There's nothing like having a plan. Even as a grown up, having a clear plan makes an overwhelming situation feel so much easier. Talking through the next hours or days with your child, and giving them a little agency in the decision-making (we're going to go to Grammy's house for a day or two, do you want to bring your red blanket or your blue blanket?), can go a long way to making a kid not feel powerless.
12. You're So Brave
They are. We all are. And we can do hard things.
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Anna Chesley
Anna Chesley is a freelance writer living a homestead lifestyle, with a special love for family travel, old books, vintage skills, and seaside living. In addition to founding Salt In My Coffee, she runs the website, New England Family Life, as well as The 1800's Housewife, a website devoted to re-creating authentic 1800's recipes.
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